Life with small children is
hard. Very hard. You do not realize how challenging life with little ones is until you are in the thick of it. It quickly gets to the point where having an uninterrupted conversation with another adult starts to become this coveted, elusive thing you sort-of remember. I had one yesterday. A real-life face-to-face conversation without a child interrupting. It was a glorious outing with a friend for a hot cup of tea and some fun, warm, encouraging conversation. And lots of laughter. It was just what this Mama needed.
Lately, I have been having these moments. Lots of moments that are difficult and challenging with my children. Moments where I question what we are doing. My sanity, our decision to home school, and our commitment to that decision.
But, then I have these beautiful, perfect moments. Moments where my children leave me speechless. The leave me in total and complete awe of them.
These moments help me to remember that we are doing the right thing for our family.
Yesterday, over tea, I remembered that we all have hard moments, hard days, and hard seasons with our children. The thing is, the moments pass and they do not have to define us. We also are given these moments where we can see how amazing and awesome these little people who have overtaken our hearts and lives really are. We can see how the path we are on, though different, is helping them to grow and learn in ways we couldn't have imagined.
I asked Martin to read this post and his response was worth including. It gives voice to things that are important to us both.
I think about it like this. When our kids suffer setbacks or frustration, our job's not to make it all better, but to be there so that they grow through it and come out better and happier for it. ... when we talk about the hard parts of having kids, I don't think we're saying that the good moments are what balance it all out and make it worthwhile. We already know there will be good and bad moments. we're invited, required, (and lucky) to be present for all of it. It's easy to be present for the good, not so easy for the hard, but all of us being present for it together is exactly what makes it a family full of love. We're not really wishing all the hard parts away, but we like to be understood if we're not at our best when things seem to be at their hardest.
And some of the hard parts are still somehow the good parts. Kids with so much energy and curiosity and enthusiasm, who are so intent on playing with each other one way or another, who won't take no for an answer. These things are hard, but also good. So good.